photo courtesy of http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/files/2012/03/Broken-phone.jpg
Ha. So my last post was almost two years ago to date. I love the idea of a blog, but I’m terrible at actually following through. Though in defense of myself, in the two years since I last wrote, my hubby and I have welcomed our first baby and we have bought a house.
Speaking of marriage, I’m always so impacted by this quote I keep seeing…ya know, one of those things that people re-post on Pinterest or Facebook that is meant to be insightful. And it is. It says something along the lines of some elderly person discussing the divorce rate then and now, and how in their generation, when something broke you fixed it, versus today’s mentality of just throwing it away for something new.
The sad reality is that this statement, is 100% true. Today’s society is all about immediacy and the need for gratification NOW. I love my job (high school teacher) but I’m never more aware of the broken-ness of society than when I’m surrounded by the “next generation.” I’m not a doomsday-er, but the reality is that this upcoming generation has lost their interpersonal ability, in lieu of the ever-present cell phone or tablet. There is no sense of exploration or creativity, no desire to work or be challenged. Everything needs to be now, and easy and fast. If it takes more than two minutes, it isn’t worth it. Everything–including said phones or tablets–is disposable. And if something breaks, then you stay with the broken thing until you can trash it and replace it.
What I fear is that being the direction of relationships. How many people do the same thing? Walk around in a broken marriage until you get the guts to replace it? No one tries to FIX it anymore…just stick with it until it breaks completely or you can get a new one. Yet think of it like a phone or gadget–if the screen breaks, does that nullify the phone itself? Its purpose? The fun or joy it give? No. It just means that the screen is broken…something has changed your view of the phone. Until you fix it, you won’t see clearly. The phone is still a phone, however. Unless you don’t fix the screen. When the screen is damaged, the protection of the heart of the phone is jeopardized. And sure, at first you protect it, are careful, etc., but eventually you have a choice–fix it, or leave it broken. But rationale follows that if you leave it broken, risking further damage to the phone, your chances of being able to salvage it later, for it to continue its purpose, diminish. So the same in marriage. So many people walk around with cracks in their marriage, leaving their hearts–and the heart of their marriage–open to further and more substantial damage, versus doing whatever it takes to fix the problem. Sure, its hard sometimes. Its inconvenient. It isn’t fun. But at some point, you thought that person you married WAS worth it. Worth the time, the hardships, the effort. Maybe if we started loving our spouses enough to be honest about our feelings, our hurts and expectations and demand the same in return, more marriages would last. Love is not easy every day. But it is possible to do every day, if we choose. Sometimes its easy, sometimes its tough. But your marriage will be whatever you help it be. If you leave it broken and forgotten, it will be destroyed. But if you take the time to fix it, then it will be growing and improving by the day.
Here’s to happy marriages, and learning to be fixers.